Down a Drain

The drain in our back yard often gets blocked. This has been a constant problem since we moved in. You can see where the ground has been dug up countless times, probably to fix something like a collapsed pipe. I dare say this has been a fucking nightmare for the previous family that lived here and we have been totally ripped off. This was the fifth time it has had happened so I was really pissed off by now. The previous times I have either called Dyno-Rod or got my father in law around to fix it. I make a concerted effort to tip chemicals down there and plunge the hell out of it but the fucker keeps clogging up.


My Drain, taken 9/3/12


Yesterday morning I looked out of our back doors whilst my coffee percolated. I felt a cold shudder as it dawned on me that we were knee deep in sewage. Again. As I say, I have seen this sight before, but this time something in my head snapped. I won't liken it to as Falling Down-style rampage, but I was pretty pissed off and started cursing the very house in which me and my wife live. I angrily decanted my coffee and thought on.

Why was this happening? What was causing it? What were we doing wrong?

I asked various people and they suggested that it might be the amount of bog roll we are flushing down. I'll be the first to admit that I *do* use more bog roll than the average person, but surely not enough to block an entire sewer? We sure as hell do not flush nappies down there so clearly it was not our fault.

I needed answers.

Obviously I am too large to fit down a drain so had to find another way. I had seen the guy from Dyno Road use a special pipe with a camera on the end to see blockages and obstructions. This really is a miracle of science; the ability to see along underground pipes in perfect clarity without having to dig up the sodding ground. Brilliant.

I rented one of these machines - in itself not an easy task - and set to work.

I got my wife to shove the pipe down and peered eagerly at the little screen.

What did I see? WHAT DID I SEE?



Avril fucking Lavigne.