1) Two girls talking in HMV. One says to the other "look at thoses CDses". 'CDses'!
2) Liverpool World Museum. There is a family stood next to a giant crab pinned to the wall in a glass box. This thing is massive, probably over a meter in diameter and red. The mother says to her child "look at that spider" (pointing up at it). Excuse me luv but it's clearly not a spider. IT'S PINK, GOT AND SHELL AND CLAWS FOR GOD'S SAKE!! AND SINCE WHEN DO SPIDERS GROW TO A FUCKING METER IN DIAMETER? It depresses me that someone who lacks the intellect to differentiate between a crab and a spider is entrusted to raise a child. You stupid, fat, red-faced, cigarette smoking slag.
3) I was in work when a man approached me and the following conversation took place:
Man: Where's yer sky-fi? (saying sky to rhyme with 'eye')
Me: I beg your pardon?
Man: I'm looking for sky-fi.
Me: Do you mean sci-fi?
Man: Yeah, that's it mate. Sky-fi. (still saying it wrong despite the fact I have corrected him)
Me: It's generally amongst the TV drama. What are you looking for?
Man: Slidders. (to rhyme with 'bidders')
Me: Do you mean Sliders (to rhyme with 'riders')?
Man: That's the one. Slidders. (still saying it wrong)
Incredible isn't it.