Sunday, 3 May 2009


Can I just make something clear before I rant:

I like Oasis.

I don't own any of their albums but I think they've done some great songs. True, when they were a new and exciting band in the mid 90s I much preferred Blur (and still do to this day) but I always admired their punk edge and anthemic choruses. There's very few things that uplift me as much as the chorus of Aqcuiesce.

But what the fuck is up with these floppy haired, leather jacket wearing 'mad for it' pricks obsessed with everything Manchester? I mean, half of them live south of Birmingham! C'mon, you've met these guys too. They can be identified by certain characteristics:

1) Floppy, 'mod' style hair. A la Paul Weller.
2) Vaguely moddish clothing. Usually Levis, checked shirts and occasionally a parka.
3) An obsession with the Ocean Colour Scene, Stone Roses, Paul Weller, Morrissey and of course those walking shit farmers Oasis.
4) That cocky swagger as developed by Liam Gallagher.
5) Usually a bottle of beer in hand.

Where the hell do these worthless pieces of shit come from? Do they not realise it's 2009? Stearnebine needs to put the knowledge out there:

1) Oasis lost their edge 10 years ago. And that's being generous.
2) Weller should be ashamed of the crap he puts out now. The Jam were incredible, which makes his current status even more unforgivable.
3) Ian Brown needs to spend less time threatening air hostesses.
4) Ocean Colour Scene were never *anything* other than mod revivalists.
5) Manchester doesn't produce any good bands any more and hasn't for the past 10 years. So there.

We need to find a way to destroy these morons.

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