Wednesday 13 May 2009

things I see every day

Things I do not like to see on the high street:

1) Scally families. Today I saw an entire family dressed in shell suits. AN ENTIRE FAMILY. That's 3 generations of scum - kids, parents and grandparents - all wearing clothes designed for toddlers. I mean what the hell is wrong with these pricks? Generation after generation of wankers, all locked into a self-perpetuating cycle of misery and unemployment. My interest in getting out of Liverpool has soared as of late.

2) Charity muggers that look like bouncers. I swear to God today we gave £3 to someone who looked like they could have held their own on the Category A wing in Risley. He had tattoos on his hand for piss sake.

3) Slow walkers. I feel like punching these pigs in the back of the head. If you can't walk at more than 0.00001 mph then you should not be on the street. I don't care how old you are, how knackered your knees have become or how fucked your heart is. GET IT?

4) People who will happily shout a conversation across a busy shop without a care in the world.

5) When old people react to a tiny bit of rain as if it's the worst thing that could possibly happen. Cheer up nana. You're going to be cremated soon so enjoy life before it is torn away from you.

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